Solving the Window Dilemma

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for the idea I came up with inspired by my cousin Laci.  She's a contemporary artist, http://lacimccrea.deviantart.com/ , and for fun, during seasonal times, she will paint store windows, etc.  

Now on to the reason I'm grateful for her.  My oldest son has an issue with being naked in his bedroom.  I normally don't mind if he's naked in his bedroom.  That is his space.  However, He's going through puberty right now.  Too much information?  And his bedroom window faces my neighbor's, who happens to have two sweet little girls.  I don't know if it is part of the puberty, but he has also become pretty destructive and knocks things off the walls, tables etc.  He also rips things up.  One of the things he likes to destruct is his curtains.I have tried blinds, curtains on a rod, curtains hooked into the little blinds clips, etc.  He tears them all down the second he gets in his room.  It's very frustrating to think of my pubescent son standing at the window in all his glory.  

Last night, I said a prayer that I could figure out a solution that he couldn't destroy.  This morning, I started thinking about my cousin, Laci, and her window paintings, and I realized that maybe I could try painting my son's windows.  I knew that seasonal store window paintings would have to be washed off, so that also eased my mind about painting windows in a home that I rent.  

I asked my cousin for advice on how to carry out my idea.  She told me that any acrylic paints will work. The cheapest paints are harder to get off later because they are kind of thin and watery.  She suggested finding the paints at an Art store or a craft store like Michaels.  I decided to use white paint, so that it wouldn't darken his room.  It turned out great, and the best part of all is that no one can see inside.  

So grateful for a solution to this problem. If I ever need to, I can easily wash the paint off with soap and water.   

Those Other Parents that Understand

As an autism mom, I'm so grateful for those other parents that understand exactly what it is like to experience raising children on the spectrum.  It's just a fact that if you meet another parent with kids with autism, you have an instant friend and support.
I felt like this blog post said it perfectly because we can all relate to so many of the signs on the list:
38 Signs You Might be an Autism Parent
Just thought I'd share this insight I had one day.  I firmly believe that before I was sent to this earth for this test we call life, God called me into his office and said, "Hey Christine, I have an experience in mind for you.  It will be extremely unique and you will be able to learn so much.  It will also be extremely hard, but it will be worth it."   And I know that the thought of that made me excited and nervous, and here I am, in this experience that is extremely unique, has taught me so much, is extremely hard, but also so very worth it.  Being an autism mom...there's nothing like it.

Choice Board for Computer Time

It's Winter Break here.  That is my least favorite time of year.  Don't get me wrong, I adore my kids, but I adore them even more when they are at school for part of the day.  ;)  

Let's just say, I have ADD, and my brain is not a structured brain, so it is hard for me to maintain the structure my kids thrive on when they have school.  Therefore; my day consists of one chaotic dilemma after another during winter break.

My daughter has become extremely possessive of the iPad, which is actually fine because it keeps her from one of her other favorite activities is to flood the bathroom. So, when Garrett is in need of a digital diversion, he has to rely on the good old fashioned computer.  ;)   

Yesterday, I realized that Garrett might not know that he can use his favorite programs from the iPad on the computer.  So, I turned to the tried and true Choice Board.  

I decided to keep it simple and just put three choices on it:  Zac Browser, YouTube and iTunes.  If you are an autism parent and haven't heard of Zac Browser, it is absolutely wonderful.  ZAC is an anagram for "Zone for Autistic Children."  Here's a post from when Garrett first discovered it that explains a little more: http://abunchofroaches.blogspot.com/2009/05/we-love-zac-browser.html

YouTube is a favorite of all of my kids, but it took a while for me to figure out how to make it work best.  First, I had to learn how to turn on the safety mode for youtube.  No need for the kids to learn swear words, see things they shouldn't, etc.  Then I started making individual playlists with clips for my kids that i knew they would like.  They think it's so fun, especially since they can click on whichever video they want, and it keeps their attention better than an entire movie does.  Also, there are suggestions on the side of the clip you watch with similar clips.  So they can discover their own clips they like too.

I have the iTunes logo on the choice board because,before Amazon and other sites had the digital movies for sale, iTunes did.  So when my kids open iTunes, they have access to their entire library of digital movies. And, since they only like certain parts, they can use the mouse to move the cursor to the parts in the movies they want to watch.  :)  

It was so nice this morning to show Garrett the Computer Choice Board, and hear him say, "I want iTunes please!"

Code Adam

As an autism mom, I am so grateful for the Code Adam protocol that is used by many stores and businesses.  It was developed in 1981, after Adam Walsh, the son of John Walsh, was abducted from a local store.  Stores that are trained in Code Adam usually will have this decal:

Unfortunately, today I had the opportunity, firsthand, to see this in action, but, FORTUNATELY, the protocol was in place and actually worked.  I was at Wal-Mart with my 10-year-old son, when he suddenly made a dash for it.   He has a history of running away from me in stores.  He loves to run up and down the aisles, and many times, by the time I get to him, he's found some yummy treat to eat that I get to add to my shopping cart.  I have always been able to catch him pretty quickly, but yesterday was different.  We were in a Wal-Mart store on Black Friday:  Need I say more.  I was absolutely terrified, and asked the first employee I could find what I should do.  I informed him that my son was autistic, and he had run away from me and was alone in the store.

He promptly took me to the dressing rooms, which are located in the center of the store.   The dressing room attendant then paged a Code Adam over the store intercom.  She explained that there was a missing 10-year-old boy with autism, and gave a description, including age, hair color and what he was wearing.   She asked the workers to bring him to the dressing room where his mother was waiting.  After the page she a asked me to stay there, which I did, even though every part of me felt the need to continue looking.  
After a long 5 minutes, I was reunited with my son.  He was in the paper towel aisle.  I would have never looked there.  

So, on this Thanksgiving weekend, the thing I am most grateful for is that my son was found, safe and sound because this protocol exists, and the store employees knew exactly what they needed to do to reunite me with my son.

Here are the steps to a Code Adam, per the website for The Center for Missing and Exploited Children:

1. Obtain a detailed description of the child, including what he or she is wearing.
2. Page "Code Adam." Describe the child's physical features and clothing.
3. Designated employees will immediately stop working, look for the child and monitor front entrances to ensure the child does not leave the premises.
4. Call law enforcement if the child is not found within 10 minutes.
5. If the child is found and appears to have been lost and unharmed, reunite the child with the searching family member.
6. If the child is found accompanied by someone other than a parent or legal guardian, make reasonable efforts to delay their departure without putting the child, staff or visitors at risk. Immediately notify law enforcement and give details about the person accompanying the child.
7. Cancel the Code Adam page after the child is found or law enforcement arrives.

Service of Others

As an autism mom, who can be very overwhelmed by the differing aspects in my life, I am so thankful for the service others give me.  What has carried me through my hard times are friends/family who reached out to me to see how I'm doing, watched my kids for an hour or two so I could have that much-needed nap, lent me a pair of shoes after my son threw his in the toilet right as the school bus pulled up, came over to offer some company and befriend my kids, taken me to breakfast to get out of the house, brought me dinners, etc.  I am so very blessed to be surrounded by so many Christlike people.

A specific example happened this morning.  I was cleaning my scary messy house after a weekend.  Mondays are not my favorite for that reason.  There was a knock on my door, and when I answered it, the sister missionaries were standing there.  They offered to help me clean my house, and then left me a wonderful message along with their wonderful act of service.  My sister had sent me this message before, but somehow it touched me even more this time.  Just wanted to take the chance to share it with whomever needs it, and I hope it can help them like it helps me.  (to read the entire talk, by Henry B. Eyring, click. here.)

Cleaning Recipe for those Fun Poop Smearing Episodes

As an autism mom, I'm so grateful for a friend of mine from church.  She came over one day with the missionaries, who had asked how to they could serve my family.  When the missionaries asked, there happened to be a sticky handprint on the wall directly behind them that gave me the inspiration to ask if they could help me wash my walls.
Little did I know, this friend of mine who accompanied the missionaries, was the daughter of a woman who owned a Green Cleaning business.  She had great insights on how to get the ridiculous, stuck on smears that were on my walls and doors.  She also was kind enough to tell me tricks to get rid of smells that often come with potty training or just having kids who like to explore the texture of what is involved in potty training.
This morning, I had to contact her again, because of course, with my ADD, I have no clue where I put those recipes that were diligently written down that day.
So here's the amazing green recipe that she gave me to get out the poop while also getting rid of the odor.

One capful of ammonia
1/4 c vinegar
1/8 c Borax
2 gallons of water
*If the smell is super potent, add 1/2 cup of vinegar instead of 1/4 cup.

Spray the affected area and let it sit for 5 minutes.  Then wipe clean.  (For super-hard-to-get-off spots, the microfiber towels work best).

Laundry and Friendship

http://apopofpretty.com/free-printable-artwork-laundry/

As an autism mom, I struggle with SO MUCH LAUNDRY.  Two of my kids are basically potty trained, but they still have accidents sometimes.  All three have nighttime accidents.  That leads to at least two loads of bedding every single day, not to mention the clothes they go through.  We are trying so hard to keep one child clothed, until we see a streaking image running past us and find different outfit attempts hidden throughout the house.  I can wash a whole drawerful of clothes that were worn for maybe 15 minutes.
Now, here is my gratitude part.  I have a very dear friend who recently felt prompted to come by every morning and pick up those two loads of bedding I mentioned earlier.  She washes them, returning the next morning to swap the clean sheets with the newly dirty ones.  She told me that is what God told her I needed, and I believe her because I would NEVER feel comfortable asking that of anyone, and most people wouldn't think of laundry as something to do for someone. Laundry is one of those things that can make me feel depressed and overwhelmed and put me in a mommy funk.
I now have hope because there is a diminishing mountain of laundry in the laundry room.  I feel so loved and grateful.  My friend also showed me this, which makes her even more awesome:

Canning Jar Lid Ornaments

As an autism mom, sometimes it's hard to have autism-proof Christmas decorations.  We have learned to change all the ornament hooks to ribbons, only use shatterproof ornaments, have a kid-friendly nativity set, etc.

Last year we tied a bunch of ribbons to our tree.  It looked great, and my kids weren't walking off with all the ornaments.  This year I wanted to try something different.  We decided to get creative and make ornaments out of canning jar lids.

What we needed to make these ornaments were canning jar lids, a tin hole punch, mod podge, foam brushes, and of course any paper we would want to mod podge onto the lids.  I used cute wrapping paper for mine.  I was able to personalize them for each person in our family.
We traced the canning jar lids onto the wrapping paper, cut them out, and then mod podged them to the jar lids.  Once the mod podge had dried, we punched a hole in the top and made a loop out of ribbon to hang it on the tree.

 These are the ornaments I made for Kevin.  He collects vintage Coca Cola stuff, and I found this great wrapping paper to use.  It made me happy.

Caiti loves all things Dora and Sesame Street, so you can guess who these were made for.  She doesn't necessarily leave the ornaments on the tree, but she is so happy carrying around the different characters.  :)

Of course, the Cars and Thomas the Tank Engine ornaments are for my little guys.

These last ones are for me.  All I did was draw a snowman face on them, then punch an extra hole in the bottom for a felt "scarf."  

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Seat Belts So We Can Be Safe

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for Dora the Explorer.  I personally think she's super annoying, and I hate that every show is basically the same show with different places.  But hey, that's not what matters.  Dora taught my kids about seat belt safety.
Caiti used to climb out of her seat belt in the car.  It was scary to take her anywhere.  I ended up having to be creative, and I put together a youtube playlist about seat belt safety and pretty much played it nonstop for a week.  That helped a lot.  To quote Dora, when Caiti would be resisting putting on her seat belt, I would just have to say, "Seat belts... so we can be safe," and because Dora did it, she would comply.  Hooray!
The other morning I was helping my kids get on the bus.  Garrett concentrated really hard and clicked his own seat belt into place.  He looked up at me with happy, proud eyes and said, "So we can be safe!"  That made my heart melt.  I guess I can forgive Dora for being annoying.

Jason Snuggles

As an autism mommy, I'm so grateful for my Jason (who I like to refer to as my warm fuzzy).  He is the best snuggler ever.  He shows his love every day giving perfect hugs and kisses.  I'm also thankful for his Aunt Michelle, who is his roommate, and who captures these moments when I'm too spaced out to even think about it.  Cuteness!!!!!!

Insight into the Nonverbal Mind

As an autism mom, I'm so very grateful for the resources out there that are actually from people who have autism.  Most people have heard of Temple Grandin.  She is a high functioning autistic woman who is very successful in her career.   I remember the first time I heard of her, I was so excited to read her books because she had first-hand experience with autism and was able to explain the mysteries of it in a way that was easy to understand.  I had previously been recommended a stack of boring books by clinicians, etc. Let's just say, I devoured the information in the Temple Grandin books, and that other stack of books is still unread.

The thing is, all three of my kids are basically nonverbal.  Sure, Garrett can talk some.  He can tell me what he needs.  He can quote TV and movies with the best of them, but he can't converse.  He has to learn the answers expected of him for basic questions.  Caiti has a very hard time remembering any words.  She has always struggled with language.  Jason tries sooo hard, but he is basically nonverbal as well.  Sometimes we, as parents, forget that just because our kids have a communication deficit, this doesn't mean that they don't understand us or what is going on around us.  I remember the first time I saw the below video about Carly Fleishman, a nonverbal, low-functioning autistic girl.  It was amazing to see the person underneath the veil of her autism.  

The part that affected me the very most was when the father was stating how he realized that he had said so many things in front of her thinking she didn't understand.  Don't we all make that mistake. This video helped me do a better job considering my children's feelings when speaking to others about them.
I think my very favorite resource out there that is written by a nonverbal person with autism is the book, The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a 13-Year Old Boy With Autism, by Naoki Higashida.

I would give a super good review of this book, but the author of Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell, who also has a child with autism, said it the best in his own review: http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/books/2013/09/autism_memoir_by_japanese_teenager_david_mitchell_translates_the_reason.html
I love this book so much because it is a Q&A book.  Basically, so many questions that I have had about my kids and what they feel, how they see the world, why they do what they do, are answered by this boy.  It is an eye opener for me and a life changer.
That is why I am so thankful for those people out there with autism, especially severe autism like my children, who were able to find a way to communicate what is going on for them.  Anything that helps me to understand my children better is wonderful.

Thoughtfulness of a Friend

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for an experience I had when I was pregnant with my third child, Jason. The reason this has been on my mind is because I have a sweet, brand new niece, and I've been wishing I could be there and wondering what I can do for my sister and her cute little baby.

Anyway, it really isn't the norm to have a baby shower on the third kid, and I didn't really expect one. However; a friend of mine took the initiative to do something awesome for me.  She was my guardian angel during a rough time.  

When I was pregnant with Jason, almost ready to pop, my husband left for basic training.  I was left home dealing with the stresses of being by myself, and raising my two older kids (both of whom I had finally accepted had autism).  I also was dealing with the stressors of gestational diabetes, figuring out whether or not to move when my husband got his orders, etc.  I had had a very difficult year financially because Kevin was out of work for a lot of the time while we went through the process of enlistment in the military.

So, this friend of mine (who I met at church) decided to throw me a shower.  She told everyone at church that instead of the normal gifts for a baby, they should give diapers.  She also noted that they should give all sizes of diapers.  I was amazed at her thoughtfulness.  Yes, I would need diapers for the baby, but I also had my two other kids who were nowhere near being ready for potty training.  

The day that my friend brought over all the diapers she had collected for my family I was just in awe.  There was a giant pile of them in my garage.  I felt the love of my church family when I saw so many packages of diapers, and they lasted me for months.  They really helped me to get through that first little while with a little less stress. I will never forget the kindness and thoughtfulness of that friend and my church family. 

Spinny Chairs

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for the spinny chairs we got from ikea (IKEA PS LÖMSK).We originally got one for Garrett for Christmas last year.  When my parents were here they saw how much all my kids liked that chair, so they gave them another one from "Grandpa Claus."  :)

There is a quote in my now-favorite book about autism, The Reason I Jump:  The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy With Autism, by Naoki Higashida.  It talks about why people with autism like to spin:
"Everyday scenery doesn't rotate, so things that do spin simply fascinate us.  Just watching spinning things fills us with a sort of everlasting bliss-for the time we sit watching them, they rotate with perfect regularity.  Whatever object we spin, this is always true.  Unchanging things are comforting, and there's something beautiful about that."

Shaving Cream

As an autism mom, I am thankful for shaving cream.   I could tell Garrett was antsy and needed something to calm his nerves.  Shaving cream did the trick. He loved running his fingers through it.  I made Garrett take his shirt off before playing with the shaving cream.  Good thing because he soon was smearing it into his hair, on his face, across his tummy.  Jason even came over to help.  Lets just say that Garrett was in a very happy, mellow mood the rest of the day.

I think Jason was glad when Garrett had to go have a shower.  Now he had a turn in sensory bliss.

Lunchtime

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for rare moments like our lunchtime today.   Everyone sat down to eat (never happens), and all the kids were FULLY CLOTHED!!!!  Had to record this moment for posterity.

Seeing them like this reminded me of the journal post I wrote back in April 2010 describing mealtime at my house:

"I just wanted to capture a moment.  Last night, I sat all three of my kids down for a dinner of salad and pork.  So imagine the typical family sitting around the table eating their salads...I poured them all lemonade.  I want Jason to learn to drink from a regular cup, not just a sippy cup, so I gave everyone regular cups.  I then watched as Jason tried to drink out of the regular cup, then thought it would be fun to watch it pour out on his shirt.  He poured out all of the drink, and then tried to drink some more even though it was gone.  When he realized there wasn't any more, he dropped his cup on the floor.  He then tipped his plate over and used his fork as a rake to push the lettuce leaves,  vegetables and pork around on the table top.  While this was going on, Caiti was using her fingers to rake through the lettuce...ignoring her fork entirely...and just picking out the bits of frozen corn to eat while once in a while sucking the dressing off the lettuce leaves.  Afterwhich, she started grabbing handfuls of salad and flinging them in the air joyfully and watching them fall every whichway.  She also thought it would be fun to fling her full cup of lemonade on the floor.  Needless to say, the spot underneath her chair was a wet and veggie-filled mess.  Good thing my kitchen has vinyl flooring and not carpet.  Garrett, on the other hand, was eating great, but every couple of seconds, he would make a dash for it.  I kept having to yell at him to sit down.  His ABA tutor had told me to be firm and follow through so that he knows exactly what I want, so I would have to grab his hand and lead him back to his chair, where he would proceed to whine and scream in-between mouth fulls.  At one point, he made it all the way out the sliding glass door to the backyard, so not knowing what to do, I said, "Fine, you are having a time out," and locked him outside.  He didn't seem to mind.  Not so effective I guess.  Five minutes later, I went and got him and made him sit down to finish his meal.  He did fine after that; I guess he just had the wiggle bug.  I was feeling parently and decided to teach Caiti a lesson.  I cleaned up the lemonade myself since her cast cannot get wet, but I made her scoot around on her little bum and pick up all the lettuce and pork off the floor and put it in the garbage.  While we were doing this, Jason was using his plate as a broom and scooped his dinner in a nice little pile...he does this every night. 

Typical dinner at the Roach house...anyone want to join us."

Our Little Protector

As an autism mommy, I'm grateful for my doggie, Dougie.  He is our family's little protector.  Case in point, today was a horrible day.  My Garrett had yet another seizure.  I hate them soooo much.  And my cute doggie, Dougie, was by his side until he knew Garrett was okay.

ID Helps for our Nonverbal Wanderers

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for products out there to help us mommies who are worried about our kids getting lost.  I know I recently addressed this when I was talking about big kid harnesses, but I just wanted to share a couple of other ideas.

First thing's first, an easy way to keep kids safe on family outings is to just write the necessary info on the back of their shirt.  Here's an example:

A similar idea that I find super cool can be found at https://www.qrcodeid.org/.  Basically, this website has a bunch of products with a scannable code, including shirts, bags, etc.  You register your child with the code, then if they are found while wearing the code, all someone would have to do is scan it on their phone to get the information needed to get your child safely back home.  I think this is a great idea, especially if you don't want the world to see your phone number, like they would in the shirts above.

There are some pretty high-tech products out there.  An example would be GPS bracelets.  These can be found at http://www.lifeprotekt.com/autism-community/.  We tried this once, but it was hard for us because the bracelet BUGGED Garrett, and wasn't worth his unhappiness, but if your child will tolerate it and has a big problem with wandering, it might be worth taking a look at.

Autism Speaks has a whole page dedicated to safety.  There are links to a bunch of great products on that site as well: http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/resource-library/safety-products

Some of my favorites are the Kid Safety Band 

These temporary tattoos are a great idea.  I tried them in the past, and I couldn't get my kids to hold still long enough to actually write our phone number on them.  They might now though.  If not, though, they have kits where you can custom order them with your phone number already on.  A couple websites for these tattoos are: http://safetytat.com/ or http://www.tattooswithapurpose.com/

They also have the link to the IDSafe Child Kits:

 "Each child safety kit includes forms to document each child’s medical and personal information, including allergies and medications, blood type, height, weight, hair and eye color, birth date, a dental chart for primary and secondary teeth, a 10-finger fingerprint chart with a safe, non-toxic ink strip, instructions for obtaining a DNA hair sample with a heavy gauge storage bag, two Safe Shoes Child IDÔ labels, two pages of comprehensive safety tips, and a chart to denote any unique physical features."

If you are like me, these are a little intimidating and kind of morbid, but they are important because they help law enforcement in identify your missing child.

Garrett's Personality

As an autism mom, I'm so grateful for all my kids.  Today I'm super grateful for my cute Garrett and his adorable, totally unique personality.  He makes me happy.  Here's some examples:
Garrett is super cute when I ask him questions.  He definitely has the scripted answers down.  But my favorite is his very own version of "What does a horse say?"

I also remember the very first time I ever heard Garrett say the PBS announcement you hear so many times. He wasn't even three yet.  We were sitting at McDonalds.  He was sitting across from me eating some fries, and all of sudden I hear the entire PBS "Brought to you by..." speech pour forth out of his mouth.  It totally caught me by surprise.  He still says it all the time:

Solution for Soap Dumping

Just a quick post. All of my children like to dump liquid soap...literally the whole bottle...into the bathtub...or wherever else they want to dump it. It can get pretty annoying, and pretty expensive, when you have just bought a thing of soap or shampoo and it's gone the first time someone's little paws grab ahold of it.  

My very smart sister came up with a solution.  We started putting the soap into used medicine bottles.  My kids don't open medicine bottles because they have the childproof caps.  We relabel the bottles with 'shampoo' or 'conditioner' or 'body wash,' etc.  This way, we can continually refill the bottles without worry the kids will just dump them.   (I am a dork, and I like to print out pics of the shampoo or soap that it is in the bottle.  I then, of course, use my favorite product, mod podge to glue it onto the bottle.)

Some things that have also worked for our family:

In an earlier post (http://autismmomsgratitudelist.blogspot.com/2011/11/shower-curtains.html), I talked about how we used the shower curtains with the sewn in mesh pockets to prevent dumping when my kids were younger.  But, unfortunately, as they grew taller, they figured those out way too easily.  It didn't help that I thought putting Caiti's toys in the top pockets when she gave them baths was a good idea.  That resulted in ripped mesh pockets after Caiti's rescue attempts.

Another idea that we have tried and has worked pretty good was an idea we found on www.plumdoodles.com.  

That website suggested putting an additional tension rod in the shower to store shower cleaning supplies.  We just modified it to store...basically anything we didn't want our kids to get.  We also stood on our tippy toes when hanging the tension rod so that it would be super high up. This worked really great for us until Garrett decided it would be fun to hang from the tension rod (don't ask how he could reach it)...Luckily, tension rods are very easy to put back up and don't need any hardware.  They also don't damage the walls.  Woot Woot!

Anyway, I'm so grateful we have figured out some ways to deal with all that soap dumping.  

Turning off the Dr. Frankenstein Mindset

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for the rare times where I have actually been good and kept a journal.  It helps me to look back and see where we all were and where we are now.
So, this is one of those posts that I would NEVER have posted when I actually was experiencing the below emotions, but I am in a better place, and I wanted to address it because I know I'm not the only one out there who has felt guilt or responsibility for the disabilities that our children have.

I was looking through my old journal today, and it was talking about a conversation I had with my therapist.  (Yes, therapy is awesome):
"I told her I was in a good place as far as my children.  She asked me how I got to that place, and I told her that I think I just went through a grieving process.  Earlier this year, I couldn't get out of my head that I was like Dr. Frankenstein, and I couldn't create anything normal.  I always felt really guilty when I would think these thoughts because I absolutely love these kids, adn I don't think of them as monster-like or anything.  I think I was just projecting their disabilities and struggles onto myself and giving myself the blame for their struggles because I was the one who "created" them.  However, God changed my frame of mind and really helped me to focus on what is beautiful about my children and the happiness and wonder that they give me.  He helped me to be able to celebrate every little accomplishment and to celebrate them as my offspring."

Just have to add one last phrase that you hear a lot in the special needs community:  "My child doesn't have a disability, he has a different ability."  Being positive and focusing on the successes and the beauties really has helped me to overcome my guilt and "Dr. Frankenstein Mindset."

Family Fun - a.k.a. Oh My Gosh! We Did Something Normal People Do!

As an autism mom, I'm grateful that the adults in our house were brave enough to actually get out and do something today with the kids in our house.   Kevin and I had a great time with our cute boys.  We took them to Despicable Me 2 (more for Kevin's benefit than the boys; seriously, Despicable Me is Kevin's FAVORITE movie).  Anyway, if you have sensory kids and didn't see my previous post about AMC's sensory friendly films, you need to check them out: http://www.amctheatres.com/programs/sensory-friendly-films
I learned from the last time I took Garrett to the Sensory Friendly Films (for Shrek the Third).  He stole other people's snacks...thus I ended up spending a fortune on treats/drinks just to keep him happy.  So, this time we were sneaky and hid a bunch of movie theatre-type candy in my giant purse to deter treat thievery during the movie.

These are some happy boys wondering what in the world is going on, since they are in the car with BOTH mommy and daddy at the same time and not just going to McDonalds.

Such good boys sticking with mom and dad.

It was fun to be with all the boys and watch a fun movie.  Jason kept dumping his candy on the floor and trying to pick it up and eat it...so Kevin didn't love that part.  Ha ha.  We had him come sit on my lap afterward.  Garrett was very attentive and narrated the movie with his own little words the whole time.  Good thing there were other kids in there doing the same thing.  Ha ha.  Love me sensory friendly films for that reason alone.  Hint: Don't go if you expect to actually be able to watch the movie in peace.  Do go if you want to give your kids a fun experience at the movie theater without stressing.

Now, don't feel sorry for my cute Caiti.  She and her super fun Aunt Michelle got to go swimming.  Swimming is Caiti's own personal heaven.  :)

Safety Harnesses for Big Kids and Adults

As an autism mom, I'm grateful that my sister and one of our ABA tutors took the initiative to find safety harnesses for kids that aren't toddlers.  I mean, really.  How many of us autism moms out there have to deal with elopement.  If you are thinking elopement means we're all worried about our kids running off and getting married...take off the "getting married" part, and you have it right.
A good definition of elopement can be found on the Autism Community website in an article by Abby Twyman, M.eD., BCBA,:
 "Elopement is when a person leaves an area without permission or notification which usually leads to placing that individual in a potentially dangerous situation. Elopement, wandering or bolting from an area (i.e. home, classroom, etc.) is a relatively common problem in individuals with autism. A survey study conducted by Interactive Autism Network (IAN) found that nearly half of all individuals with autism (based on 800 responses) engaged in elopement behavior."

It was nice when they were little, and we could take them to a public place with their cute little monkey backpack that had the "leash" on it.  Yes, it sucked to hear annoying people comment about how bad it was for us to put our kid on a leash, but we would grin and bear it because that kid on a leash was safe.

(This pic makes me laugh.  It was the only time I traveled with all three of my children.  It was for our family reunion back in 2010.  We were staying in a cabin by a pond, and my kids are way too tempted to run off and play in scary water, so they were wearing their harnesses the whole time).

Anyway, now that they are MUCH bigger, those harnesses really don't work.  It has hindered our efforts to do much of anything fun anywhere that has lots of crowds or is too big.  So, back to my first sentence. Hooray for my sister and our ABA tutor for finding a website with harnesses for all sizes.  I don't have any more excuses to not use those zoo passes.  ;)  If anyone else is interested in finding an older child-to-adult harness, the website is: http://www.childharness.ca/2strap.html

Goodbye to Carpet!

As an autism mom, I'm grateful that I was finally able to say goodbye to our carpet.  Here are just a few of the reasons carpet wasn't a good thing in my house:
1.  Children who are still potty training...still...yes, still...after years and years.
2.  A child who is obsessed with water and likes to flood...everything.
3.  This same child who is also obsessed with making bubbles and will pour dish soap or any other kind of soap on the carpet.  (Including a Costco-sized dish soap that she poured the whole thing in one spot.  Needless to say, that was fun to try and get out.   No, it never fully did come out of that spot.)
4.  Mold!  When you have a combination of all the above, and are shampooing your carpets on a daily basis...mold is a very likely visitor.

The main reason we were able to get rid of our carpet was #4, and a letter from my kids' awesome doctor.  I just have to quote some of it, just to show you how awesome he is:

We live in military housing, and they are really good about meeting special needs when there is a doctor's note involved.  It was actually a pretty hard experience to go through, and we did feel very judged, and felt that they didn't read the underlined part of the above letter, but in the end, we were able to get vinyl flooring throughout the house.  We were worried it would look like a hospital, but luckily, they gave us flooring that looks like hardwood floors.  They also put in high-impact drywall in the bathrooms to prevent mold from any flooding.

Can I just say this has improved the quality of life in our home by about 1000%, just with the ease and quickness of cleaning up alone.  I'm so grateful to housing for making these changes.  

"Open"

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for another spontaneous word that Caiti said yesterday morning.  She woke up in a bad mood, and as always, it was a guessing game figuring out what she wanted.  However; she came up to me and said, "Open?"  She then grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom.  So, I opened the bathroom (which was locked for reasons I will explain in my next post), so she could have a bath (which is Caiti's favorite thing in the world).  Her bath was very soothing to her and cheered her up.  Yay for some functional language!  

Be Still

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for this song,Be Still, by The Killers.  I was driving home from getting my son's prescription last night.  I was feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, and this song started playing.  I felt like the message was for me, and it also brought to my mind that wonderful scripture, Psalms 46:10, "Be ^astill, and ^bknow that I am God..." that reminds me to give my worries to God when I am unable to do anything else.

Autism and Dental Work

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for pediatric dentistry.  The dental aspect of autism is especially hard for me. My kids are not so good at letting me brush their teeth, and they'd rather chew on the toothbrush than brush their teeth themselves.  Their school OT suggested vibrating toothbrushes.  I had never tried them before because I thought the noise would totally bug them, but actually, they really like those.  I'm grateful for their ABA programs for implementing tooth brushing.  They are starting right at the basic, desensitizing them to the feeling of a toothbrush in their mouths and working up to total brushing of their teeth.  This might not sound good to those out there who don't understand because how long will that take?  But, I'm glad they are doing it a little at a time, so toothbrushing will no longer be so aversive to my kids.

Needless to say, my kids have plenty of cavities.  Also needless to say, they will not tolerate any dental work (xrays, teeth cleaning, procedures).  This is why I'm grateful for pediatric dentistry.  Our primary care doctor referred them to the pediatric dentistry clinic at the hospital.  For those of you who are curious how to get this kind of dental care, the primary care doctor is who I would start with.  Most know where to refer your child for specialized dental care.
Our pediatric dentist wants to see my kids every four months for checkups.  This is basically so that they can get used to him and more comfortable with dental visits.  He does a visual exam of their teeth when we visit.  If he sees any visible cavities, that is when we schedule an entire day for dental procedures.
For Jason, in order to even be able to have this done, he first had to have a physical exam.  The day before the procedure, we had to go to the hospital for preop.  The morning of the procedure he couldn't have anything to eat, and he could only drink clear fluids up until 2 hours before his scheduled procedure.  After that, he wasn't allowed to drink anything.
When we got to the hospital, they changed him into some nifty hospital pajamas.  I like those a lot more than hospital gowns...even if Jason does have a cute little bum.  Jason was super comfy in his pajamas, and he was lucky because Aunt Michelle sent him with his SUPER SOFT blankie.
While we were waiting, the anesthesiologist came to talk to us.  He explained how they would put Jason under for the procedure.  The procedure would last anywhere from 2-4 hours for the xray, cleaning, fillings, any major dental work.

I was so glad they had the swivel chairs in the room we were waiting in.  Jason was very entertained and resourceful, using the sink and the hospital bed to propel his spinning.  :)
Anyway, the anesthesiologist came and got Jason and told me where the waiting room was.  I waited forever for them to finish.  They ended up doing three mini root canals in the back of his mouth and pulling one tooth.  I'm so grateful that they could do this all in one visit (even if it did take all day).  I'm grateful my baby boy was asleep and didn't have to freak out about what was happening.
We spent a couple hours in the recovery room waiting for Jason to come out of anesthesia, and then we were discharged to home.  Jason now has a much happier mouth.

Zoo

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for the zoo. We have zoo passes for the kids, and one great thing about the zoo is that if your child is disabled, the accompanying adult is free. This was also true at Sea World and Birch Aquarium, so it's always a good idea to check these place's policies to see if you might save some money that way.
Today was a good day to take Jason to the zoo. He had a pediatric dental procedure this afternoon where they will be using anesthesia to put him out, and he isn't allowed to eat anything at all or drink anything after two hours before the procedure. The zoo is actually only about 10 minutes from the hospital, so it was a convenient way to distract Jason from his growling tummy.
He was so happy to be at the zoo and have his mommy all to himself. He especially LOVED the Skyfari tram ride. Me...not so much.