Being Your Mom - For my Garrett

 As an autism mom, I'm grateful I was given the ability to work through my pain in writing.

Being Your Mom

Being your mom, my job has always been to protect you.
To clothe you, to feed you, to never neglect you.
To guide and comfort you while you figured this world out,
My love expanding constantly as I've learned what you're about.

Being your mom, my job has been a detective.
Finding the clues as to what is effective. Figuring out what makes you you,
and constantly finding new ways to get through.

Being your mom, my job is your advocate.
You'd be amazed how strong you can get
In meetings upon meetings I've fought to make your life better.
Hoping they would see that we are all in this together.

Being your mom, this job has brought me such joy,
Knowing God trusted me with such a beautiful boy.
Knowing god trusted me with this child so unique.
Who couldn't quite converse but still managed to speak.

And yes, being your mom has also brought pain,
As I'm realizing that my role won't always be the same.
Realizing that my love isn't always enough,
I've had to let others step in when things were rough.

And I was left helpless, failure showing in my face.
As they had to take over to help keep you safe.
It's not the same talking to you on the phone,
Knowing you probably feel confused and alone.
And now I'm at home, and you are away,
And I feel the only thing I can do is pray.