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Dec 29, 2012

I Won't Let Go

So in an earlier post, I mentioned that I find emotional healing a lot of times through music.  In particular, I talked about the song, "I Won't Let Go," by Rascal Flatts.  Today, I'm yet again grateful for that song.
It's Christmas break here.  The kids are in year-round school, so their Christmas break is a month long.  It's time for survival mode.  Kevin is currently in the middle of three-day duty station, which means that he has to stay overnight every three days on the ship.  My kids are not doing well.  Part of autism is having a routine, and when they get a break from school, they get bored, they don't know what to expect, etc.  They regress. I'm especially having problems with Caiti.  She has been getting upset so often.  She has been engaging in some self-injurious behaviors, and unfortunately, she has also started hurting other people.  I finally gave in and called my psychiatrist to set up an appointment for her...which will be after she is back in school.  It's going to be interesting, if he does decide to put her on meds, how we will get them inside of her.  She's not very cooperative in that category.  Perhaps the most frustrating part of autism is their communication difficulties.  It is hard to know what is bothering them, if they are in pain, etc.  Thus, it is hard to know how to address the behaviors that happen as a result of their inability to get their needs met in the way they want them too.
I woke up this morning dreading my day.  I had the feeling of fear in my gut that it would be yet another hard day where I wouldn't know how to keep my kids happy.  I decided to read some of my earlier blog posts, and I came upon the one about emotional healing through music.  I listened, yet again, to the Rascal Flatts song, "I Won't Let Go."  The words reminded me that my children can't always fight their own fights, and I'm there to "Fight (their) fight...hold (them) tight.  And i won't let go."
I decided I needed that reminder up where I could see it when I'm discouraged.  I spent the morning making this to hang on my wall.


  1. Saying a prayer for you! Love the visual reminder (and that song)! My husbands schedule is about to change as well (he is a paramedic) and I know it is going to throw of my Logan's schedule. Crazy how the smallest of changes can cause such an emotional impact on our littles. Keep your chin up. You are an au-some mommy! ;)

  2. Christine, you have so many trials. You pull through them somehow, amazingly, with the Lords help. I think you teach all of us through your eyes. The words of music can certainly tranquilize the moment. And remember: "Don't ever give up"!