Solution for Soap Dumping

Just a quick post. All of my children like to dump liquid soap...literally the whole bottle...into the bathtub...or wherever else they want to dump it. It can get pretty annoying, and pretty expensive, when you have just bought a thing of soap or shampoo and it's gone the first time someone's little paws grab ahold of it.  

My very smart sister came up with a solution.  We started putting the soap into used medicine bottles.  My kids don't open medicine bottles because they have the childproof caps.  We relabel the bottles with 'shampoo' or 'conditioner' or 'body wash,' etc.  This way, we can continually refill the bottles without worry the kids will just dump them.   (I am a dork, and I like to print out pics of the shampoo or soap that it is in the bottle.  I then, of course, use my favorite product, mod podge to glue it onto the bottle.)

Some things that have also worked for our family:

In an earlier post (http://autismmomsgratitudelist.blogspot.com/2011/11/shower-curtains.html), I talked about how we used the shower curtains with the sewn in mesh pockets to prevent dumping when my kids were younger.  But, unfortunately, as they grew taller, they figured those out way too easily.  It didn't help that I thought putting Caiti's toys in the top pockets when she gave them baths was a good idea.  That resulted in ripped mesh pockets after Caiti's rescue attempts.

Another idea that we have tried and has worked pretty good was an idea we found on www.plumdoodles.com.  

That website suggested putting an additional tension rod in the shower to store shower cleaning supplies.  We just modified it to store...basically anything we didn't want our kids to get.  We also stood on our tippy toes when hanging the tension rod so that it would be super high up. This worked really great for us until Garrett decided it would be fun to hang from the tension rod (don't ask how he could reach it)...Luckily, tension rods are very easy to put back up and don't need any hardware.  They also don't damage the walls.  Woot Woot!

Anyway, I'm so grateful we have figured out some ways to deal with all that soap dumping.  

Turning off the Dr. Frankenstein Mindset

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for the rare times where I have actually been good and kept a journal.  It helps me to look back and see where we all were and where we are now.
So, this is one of those posts that I would NEVER have posted when I actually was experiencing the below emotions, but I am in a better place, and I wanted to address it because I know I'm not the only one out there who has felt guilt or responsibility for the disabilities that our children have.

I was looking through my old journal today, and it was talking about a conversation I had with my therapist.  (Yes, therapy is awesome):
"I told her I was in a good place as far as my children.  She asked me how I got to that place, and I told her that I think I just went through a grieving process.  Earlier this year, I couldn't get out of my head that I was like Dr. Frankenstein, and I couldn't create anything normal.  I always felt really guilty when I would think these thoughts because I absolutely love these kids, adn I don't think of them as monster-like or anything.  I think I was just projecting their disabilities and struggles onto myself and giving myself the blame for their struggles because I was the one who "created" them.  However, God changed my frame of mind and really helped me to focus on what is beautiful about my children and the happiness and wonder that they give me.  He helped me to be able to celebrate every little accomplishment and to celebrate them as my offspring."

Just have to add one last phrase that you hear a lot in the special needs community:  "My child doesn't have a disability, he has a different ability."  Being positive and focusing on the successes and the beauties really has helped me to overcome my guilt and "Dr. Frankenstein Mindset."

Family Fun - a.k.a. Oh My Gosh! We Did Something Normal People Do!

As an autism mom, I'm grateful that the adults in our house were brave enough to actually get out and do something today with the kids in our house.   Kevin and I had a great time with our cute boys.  We took them to Despicable Me 2 (more for Kevin's benefit than the boys; seriously, Despicable Me is Kevin's FAVORITE movie).  Anyway, if you have sensory kids and didn't see my previous post about AMC's sensory friendly films, you need to check them out: http://www.amctheatres.com/programs/sensory-friendly-films
I learned from the last time I took Garrett to the Sensory Friendly Films (for Shrek the Third).  He stole other people's snacks...thus I ended up spending a fortune on treats/drinks just to keep him happy.  So, this time we were sneaky and hid a bunch of movie theatre-type candy in my giant purse to deter treat thievery during the movie.

These are some happy boys wondering what in the world is going on, since they are in the car with BOTH mommy and daddy at the same time and not just going to McDonalds.

Such good boys sticking with mom and dad.

It was fun to be with all the boys and watch a fun movie.  Jason kept dumping his candy on the floor and trying to pick it up and eat it...so Kevin didn't love that part.  Ha ha.  We had him come sit on my lap afterward.  Garrett was very attentive and narrated the movie with his own little words the whole time.  Good thing there were other kids in there doing the same thing.  Ha ha.  Love me sensory friendly films for that reason alone.  Hint: Don't go if you expect to actually be able to watch the movie in peace.  Do go if you want to give your kids a fun experience at the movie theater without stressing.

Now, don't feel sorry for my cute Caiti.  She and her super fun Aunt Michelle got to go swimming.  Swimming is Caiti's own personal heaven.  :)

Safety Harnesses for Big Kids and Adults

As an autism mom, I'm grateful that my sister and one of our ABA tutors took the initiative to find safety harnesses for kids that aren't toddlers.  I mean, really.  How many of us autism moms out there have to deal with elopement.  If you are thinking elopement means we're all worried about our kids running off and getting married...take off the "getting married" part, and you have it right.
A good definition of elopement can be found on the Autism Community website in an article by Abby Twyman, M.eD., BCBA,:
 "Elopement is when a person leaves an area without permission or notification which usually leads to placing that individual in a potentially dangerous situation. Elopement, wandering or bolting from an area (i.e. home, classroom, etc.) is a relatively common problem in individuals with autism. A survey study conducted by Interactive Autism Network (IAN) found that nearly half of all individuals with autism (based on 800 responses) engaged in elopement behavior."

It was nice when they were little, and we could take them to a public place with their cute little monkey backpack that had the "leash" on it.  Yes, it sucked to hear annoying people comment about how bad it was for us to put our kid on a leash, but we would grin and bear it because that kid on a leash was safe.

(This pic makes me laugh.  It was the only time I traveled with all three of my children.  It was for our family reunion back in 2010.  We were staying in a cabin by a pond, and my kids are way too tempted to run off and play in scary water, so they were wearing their harnesses the whole time).

Anyway, now that they are MUCH bigger, those harnesses really don't work.  It has hindered our efforts to do much of anything fun anywhere that has lots of crowds or is too big.  So, back to my first sentence. Hooray for my sister and our ABA tutor for finding a website with harnesses for all sizes.  I don't have any more excuses to not use those zoo passes.  ;)  If anyone else is interested in finding an older child-to-adult harness, the website is: http://www.childharness.ca/2strap.html

Goodbye to Carpet!

As an autism mom, I'm grateful that I was finally able to say goodbye to our carpet.  Here are just a few of the reasons carpet wasn't a good thing in my house:
1.  Children who are still potty training...still...yes, still...after years and years.
2.  A child who is obsessed with water and likes to flood...everything.
3.  This same child who is also obsessed with making bubbles and will pour dish soap or any other kind of soap on the carpet.  (Including a Costco-sized dish soap that she poured the whole thing in one spot.  Needless to say, that was fun to try and get out.   No, it never fully did come out of that spot.)
4.  Mold!  When you have a combination of all the above, and are shampooing your carpets on a daily basis...mold is a very likely visitor.

The main reason we were able to get rid of our carpet was #4, and a letter from my kids' awesome doctor.  I just have to quote some of it, just to show you how awesome he is:

We live in military housing, and they are really good about meeting special needs when there is a doctor's note involved.  It was actually a pretty hard experience to go through, and we did feel very judged, and felt that they didn't read the underlined part of the above letter, but in the end, we were able to get vinyl flooring throughout the house.  We were worried it would look like a hospital, but luckily, they gave us flooring that looks like hardwood floors.  They also put in high-impact drywall in the bathrooms to prevent mold from any flooding.

Can I just say this has improved the quality of life in our home by about 1000%, just with the ease and quickness of cleaning up alone.  I'm so grateful to housing for making these changes.  

"Open"

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for another spontaneous word that Caiti said yesterday morning.  She woke up in a bad mood, and as always, it was a guessing game figuring out what she wanted.  However; she came up to me and said, "Open?"  She then grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom.  So, I opened the bathroom (which was locked for reasons I will explain in my next post), so she could have a bath (which is Caiti's favorite thing in the world).  Her bath was very soothing to her and cheered her up.  Yay for some functional language!  

Be Still

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for this song,Be Still, by The Killers.  I was driving home from getting my son's prescription last night.  I was feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, and this song started playing.  I felt like the message was for me, and it also brought to my mind that wonderful scripture, Psalms 46:10, "Be ^astill, and ^bknow that I am God..." that reminds me to give my worries to God when I am unable to do anything else.

Autism and Dental Work

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for pediatric dentistry.  The dental aspect of autism is especially hard for me. My kids are not so good at letting me brush their teeth, and they'd rather chew on the toothbrush than brush their teeth themselves.  Their school OT suggested vibrating toothbrushes.  I had never tried them before because I thought the noise would totally bug them, but actually, they really like those.  I'm grateful for their ABA programs for implementing tooth brushing.  They are starting right at the basic, desensitizing them to the feeling of a toothbrush in their mouths and working up to total brushing of their teeth.  This might not sound good to those out there who don't understand because how long will that take?  But, I'm glad they are doing it a little at a time, so toothbrushing will no longer be so aversive to my kids.

Needless to say, my kids have plenty of cavities.  Also needless to say, they will not tolerate any dental work (xrays, teeth cleaning, procedures).  This is why I'm grateful for pediatric dentistry.  Our primary care doctor referred them to the pediatric dentistry clinic at the hospital.  For those of you who are curious how to get this kind of dental care, the primary care doctor is who I would start with.  Most know where to refer your child for specialized dental care.
Our pediatric dentist wants to see my kids every four months for checkups.  This is basically so that they can get used to him and more comfortable with dental visits.  He does a visual exam of their teeth when we visit.  If he sees any visible cavities, that is when we schedule an entire day for dental procedures.
For Jason, in order to even be able to have this done, he first had to have a physical exam.  The day before the procedure, we had to go to the hospital for preop.  The morning of the procedure he couldn't have anything to eat, and he could only drink clear fluids up until 2 hours before his scheduled procedure.  After that, he wasn't allowed to drink anything.
When we got to the hospital, they changed him into some nifty hospital pajamas.  I like those a lot more than hospital gowns...even if Jason does have a cute little bum.  Jason was super comfy in his pajamas, and he was lucky because Aunt Michelle sent him with his SUPER SOFT blankie.
While we were waiting, the anesthesiologist came to talk to us.  He explained how they would put Jason under for the procedure.  The procedure would last anywhere from 2-4 hours for the xray, cleaning, fillings, any major dental work.

I was so glad they had the swivel chairs in the room we were waiting in.  Jason was very entertained and resourceful, using the sink and the hospital bed to propel his spinning.  :)
Anyway, the anesthesiologist came and got Jason and told me where the waiting room was.  I waited forever for them to finish.  They ended up doing three mini root canals in the back of his mouth and pulling one tooth.  I'm so grateful that they could do this all in one visit (even if it did take all day).  I'm grateful my baby boy was asleep and didn't have to freak out about what was happening.
We spent a couple hours in the recovery room waiting for Jason to come out of anesthesia, and then we were discharged to home.  Jason now has a much happier mouth.

Zoo

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for the zoo. We have zoo passes for the kids, and one great thing about the zoo is that if your child is disabled, the accompanying adult is free. This was also true at Sea World and Birch Aquarium, so it's always a good idea to check these place's policies to see if you might save some money that way.
Today was a good day to take Jason to the zoo. He had a pediatric dental procedure this afternoon where they will be using anesthesia to put him out, and he isn't allowed to eat anything at all or drink anything after two hours before the procedure. The zoo is actually only about 10 minutes from the hospital, so it was a convenient way to distract Jason from his growling tummy.
He was so happy to be at the zoo and have his mommy all to himself. He especially LOVED the Skyfari tram ride. Me...not so much.

Hungry and Swing

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for any new words that come out of my kids' mouths.  Caiti and Jason are "nonverbal."  They definitely make lots of "words" with their mouth, but not words that I understand.  Caiti is adorable when she plays with her toys, and she has them talk to each other in Caiti jabber.  Jason is so sweet when he's just sitting there doing actions to the songs, so then I know that in his brain, he's "singing" Eensie Weensie Spider.
Yesterday Caiti came up to me bearing a plate.  She has always done this when she wants something to eat, and I usually prompt her to say something by asking, "What do you want?"  She normally will respond with her go-to word, "Drink."  However, yesterday, I didn't even have to ask what she wanted.  She came up to me and said, "Uh-bree."  So, my baby girl said "hungry" to me.  That made me so proud and happy to hear her using a word spontaneously and correctly.
When we were at the park, later in the day, I asked Jason what he wanted, and he said, "Weeb"  which in Jason terms is "swing."  He's so cute and sweet, and I gladly took him over to the swings and gave him a push.
It's the little things, that are huge in my house, that make it all worth it.

Sewing Machine (for the DIY Hammock Swing)

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for my sewing machine.  It took me a while to like it cause I didn't get how to work it, everything I made looked like crap, etc.  And it still does...but it has proved useful.  For instance, if you saw our earlier posts, you know that my kids LOVE swings.  We were fortunate enough to be given a swingset for Christmas from a local charity.  Unfortunately, my kids have already broken all the swings because they use them constantly...and they're pretty big kids.
So this morning I got on pinterest and looked up DIY hammocks.  I figured maybe my sewing machine could help me out on that one.  And it did.  I found an old blanket and followed the directions in one of the pins on pinterest to sew hems on both sides of the blanket.  They said to then thread rope through the hems and hang it from a tree.  I don't have a nice big tree to do that, and I've used rope before, that soooo doesn't work out at my house.  I did have the chains from the broken swings, so I connected two chains together per side and threaded them through the hem.  I then hung them from the hookie thingies on the swingset.  It worked great.

But I got to thinking that maybe the blanket would rip...especially if my kids can break the plastic swings.  So I got a scrap piece of leather (Yes, I cut the leather off of my old couches for future projects).  and sewed it to the back of the hammock to provide reinforcement.  I also realized my kids were looking super hot when they'd come in for swinging.  So...

After thinking how hot fleece would feel surrounding you, like it does in the hammock form, I used one of our worn out sheets and sewed that the front and over the hem to provide a cooler seat for my kids.

And hey, it worked out...at least for now...or until I have extra money to buy the expensive swings that will hold the weight of three enthusiastic swingers.  :)

Caiti's "Mirror"

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for cameras that have the ability to switch the view finder to face you.  This is because my kids think it is a mirror, and the results are very cute movies just for me.

Miracle Naps

As an autism mom, today I'm grateful for the miraculous event of all three children napping at the same time ( not to mention Dougie).

Dougie

As an autism mom, and after almost 10 years being married, having kids, not having pets, and being happy about it, I actually am surprised to say that I'm grateful for our new dog.  I have read several things about how doggies are good companions for kids with autism, and I would smile and think, "That's great for all those other kids," then go about my day without a dog.  

Then last Sunday, my husband left to get a haircut and came back with a puppy.  I was so mad at him.  I mean, don't I have enough poop, pee, chewed on stuff, major messes, etc. to clean up already?  But then the puppy was so sweet, didn't bark at us, was super snuggly.  Also, to see the light in my husband's eye and to hear him say that now our family was complete made it worth it.  Honestly, the thing that got me at first was that he started eating the popcorn my kids had just spilled all over the floor.  It reminded me of people who buy goats to mow their grass.  I had a dog to be a vacuum.  ;)

Since our kids are very limited in their verbal ability, we decided to name the dog, Dougie.  Doggy is a word that all my kids can say, and doggy is close enough to Dougie...right?  

Dougie has been extremely cute with my kids.  The very first day Kevin came and got me right when I was finally lying down for my nap.  He said, "You've got to come see this."  My annoyance at being disturbed during my "me time" quickly turned into utter happiness when I saw Dougie standing protectively between my sweet baby girl and the fence where the mean dog was barking at her and trying to jump over.

I couldn't get to this picture in time, but when I walked in on Jason after his nap, I found him sitting up petting his doggy.  It made me happy.

Garrett has made friends with Dougie too.  He talks about his "dog" randomly throughout the day.  At first he was scared of him, but now he lets him climb right up on his lap, and Garrett will get a smile and pet him while looking up at the ceiling.  So cute.

The best part for me is that I haven't been AT ALL motivated to exercise.  If I have free time I just want to veg...but every day this week after I have the kids on the bus, I take Dougie on a walk.  Walks are a lot more fun when you have a doggy to keep you company.  So, maybe I'm a converted dog lover after all.  :)

Your Future is as Bright as Your Faith

As an autism mom, I am grateful for the personal insight/revelation I can receive when I actually take the time to stop and listen.  I had the chance to attend the first hour of church last week.  One of the speakers was talking about how excited she was to serve a mission for our church.  She had such a brightness about her.  She had the spirit in her face.  She had such excitement for her future.
It took me back to my college days.  I had such faith back then.  I'm not saying I don't now, but it's a different kind of faith.  I don't want to say that I have lost that "perfect brightness of hope," but some days are harder than others, and sometimes it's hard to have a positive outlook for my future.  Life has given me too many things that I didn't expect (not just my children), and it's been a hard road, trying to accept what I've been given and to figure out how to use what I've been given in my life.
As I was listening to her talk, the quote, "Your future is as bright as your faith," by Thomas S. Monson came into my mind.  Back in the day, I had such faith that all would go well, and I believed with all my heart that my future was bright.  I had an ah-ha moment when I thought about this.  Just because my future didn't turn out how I expected, that doesn't mean that it wasn't a bright future.  My husband and I were entrusted with some amazing children who teach us about life and God and love every day.  It can be overwhelming and hard, but I have to remember how lucky I am to have such amazing little teachers in my life.  I'm so lucky to be blessed with the many people in my life who were sent to me to help my family, and in turn who my babies have also helped.
So I'm going to try and focus on my faith, which is always a hard thing.  I'm going to focus on faith in a happy future where my kids will have the opportunities they need to reach their full potential and where I will have the same opportunities to reach mine.

President's Day

As an autism mom, I am grateful that God gave me a mellow President's Day. I was expecting it to be torturous, hectic and crazy, and it just wasn't. All of my kids were super sweet and happy. I think maybe God blessed their mommy to be in a mood that would help, not hinder this outcome. P.S. I'm also super grateful to live in California, so we can all get our wiggles out and play outdoors in February. :)

Addressing Appropriate Touch

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for resources out there to address the serious subject of appropriate and inappropriate touch.  I'm not talking about the healthy exploration that every kid goes through, discovering different parts of their bodies, but I'm talking about explaining appropriate touch by others.  This is one of those things that so many parents of non-verbal children are afraid of.  What if someone does something inappropriate to my child, and they don't have the language to tell me.  What if they don't understand my wording, especially because social boundaries are so hard for children with autism.
So, I have put together some resources that I will be using to explain all of this to my kids in a way that they could better understand.
I think when I do this, I will start by explaining what private parts are:
To explain private parts very clearly, this social story can be helpful What are Private Parts.
I would then go on to explain who it is okay and not okay to be naked around.  A helpful social story for this  is Who Can See Me Naked.  I especially like this one because I have a child who loves to be naked, and I think this can help some.  I appreciate that it includes the doctor as someone that is okay to see them naked.
I would then read them the social story, What is Bad Touch or this social story Good touches and Bad Touches.  These stories explain the places that other people should not be touching with both words and drawings.
There are other helpful social stories about appropriate hugging and kissing on their part.  These are Who Can I Kiss and All About Hugs.

The websites that I used for these links are www.livingwellwithautism.com and kidscandream.webs.com

Lastly, I was reading an article about two preschoolers who were caught exploring each other's bodies with their mouths.  Very shocking and sad, but at the same time, they probably didn't realize their behavior was inappropriate.  One of the comments underneath that story suggested using this video with young children to prevent this behavior.

Chewy Toys for Oral Sensory Needs

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for chewy toys.  Jason is very orally driven.  He chews on anything and everything.  Coincidentally, when I was a baby, my parents nicknamed me Popeye because I always had something sticking out of my mouth like Popeye's pipe.  So, I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

A lot of kids with autism seek out sensory feedback through their mouth.  This can be frustrating.  For example, every one of my kids has bitten my CDs and DVDs which is why we are an all-digital family.  We can't have the earphones with the fuzzy outsides because they take those off and chew on them.  Any time we get gum, they somehow obtain magical intuition to know where it is hiding and put the entire pack of gum in their mouths at once.
This is why, if oral sensory needs are an issue with your child, having a chewy toy (also known as a chewy tube) can be very soothing and actually help with their behavior.  When we first were introduced to this idea by our Occupational therapist, we were sort of offended.  After all, aren't chewy toys for puppies?  We have since gotten over this way of thinking. Jason has chewy toys at school.  When he is trying to mouth the other toys, pencils, etc., they hand him his "chewy" instead.  It also helps to have them at home.  That way,  the stuff that might feel nice inside someone's mouth is safer because there is a chewy that is actually meant for chewing on.
More mature kids, who don't spit out gum or swallow it, find a lot of relief by chewing gum all day.  I can't wait for the day when that will be our solution, but for now:

There are many choices for "chewies" online.  I get mine on Amazon.com. The ones we have liked the best are the knobby texture chewy tube and the P and Q Chewy Tubes.  The hard thing with the P and Q tubes is that if you tell your child to "chew on your 'P'" that might sound a little inappropriate.   Yes, we have said that one in public without thinking.  ;)
                    

One thing I hadn't thought of...until today... was using baby toys for chewies.  This morning we took Caiti to the dentist, and afterward, we took her to the gift shop (she sees a pediatric dentist at the hospital).  I let her choose a toy, and for some reason, she chose the baby elephant toy.   When Jason found it, I realized it was perfect for an oral sensory boy.  It has so many "teething" parts to it that are perfect for a chewy substitute, so don't rule those out as well.  ;)

Caiti Update

Last Tuesday we took Caiti to see a psychiatrist who specializes in autism to address her self injury.  After a thorough assesment, he decided to put her on small doses of a combination of Tenex (off-brand for ADD symptoms) and Prozac.  We were worried she wouldn't take her medications, but she has done great when we magically hide them in a spoonful of...NUTELLA!!!!!  So, not only am I grateful for the meds, but I'm grateful for Nutella because that is the only way she has EVER let me give her meds.  :)

There has been such a nice change since she started on her medications, just in this first week.  She has returned to her happy, sweet self.  She still tantrums, because she is the same person, but her tantrums are not nearly as bad.  There is still a small amount of self injury due to frustration, but it has decreased so much! It is fun to have our happy girl back and see her playing with her toys and finding the joy in her life again!

Pay It FOrwaRD

As an autism mommy, I'm grateful for the first example I had of someone on the autism spectrum, my nephew Ford.  Ford had Asperger's syndrome, which in my book means that Ford was actually interesting and fun.  Ford is the nephew I wrote about earlier, the one who passed away suddenly.  This weekend is the 6th anniversary of his death.  My sister is using this very hard thing and making it into something positive by making this anniversary an annual tribute to Ford called, "Pay It FOrwaRD."  

This is what my sister posted for the event: 

On the 27th of this month, it will be 6 years since our son Ford was suddenly called back to his Heavenly Father. Ford was sweet and kind. He loved scouts, star wars & outer space. He had a silly sense of humor. He was thoughtful and helped others feel God's love. My family and I would be honored if you would, wherever you are, on the weekend of the 25-27th of January, help us celebrate Ford's life and legacy. Please pray as a family, or by yourself to know how to do this. It can be in a big way, or in one or many small ways. We are asking you to make your corner of the world a little better. Look for ways you can help and share your love with those you know, or complete strangers. Please share this with your friends & help us to touch as many lives as possible as we "Pay it FOrwaRD."  

Besides finding ways to Pay it FOrwaRD, my family also tie-dyed our shirts for the event.  After all, tie dye was Ford's favorite color.  One of many things about him that makes me smile.

Lastly, my sister sent me this email a couple months ago.  It was a list of the reasons I love Ford that I wrote at his viewing:

I love Ford for so many reasons. Just thinking about him makes me smile. He always was so happy to see us & so sad to leave. 
He gave me lessons when I was pregnant on how to take care of babies.
He offered to teach Caiti to walk "in the grass, so it will be soft when she falls down."
The first time I talked to him on the phone, I got out my journal & wrote everything he said down because it was so cute, funny & totally unique.
I remember the first time I met him as a newborn. We were in church & he was being a little fussy, but every time the organ played, he would calm right down.
I remember at Lake Patoka his yellow and maroon T-shirt & shorts. He would go out & ride bikes & eat popsicles.
I love Ford for so many reasons. He was my first sweet, beautiful nephew. He taught me about perserverance, strength, being yourself & not apologizing for it. 
Most of all, I am greatful to Ford for preparing me for one of my most prized posessions, my sweet son Garrett. Ford was an example of taking what others viewed as a disability & showing how it could be a strength & enhancement. I love him for that example!
I hope you know that I have so much to say but not the words. 
Love
Christine

Poop Smearing and Coprophagia

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for resources out there to help deal with the not-so-pretty part of autism:  Poop Smearing.  This is something I might have been embarrassed to mention, let alone blog about, but the fact is it is a reality, and I am not the only one out there that gets the fun of dealing with this.
I remember the first time I discovered a child of mine in the bedroom covered in poop, the walls covered in poop, the dresser covered in poop.  Let's just say that was definitely not the last time that happened either.  I was HORRIFIED, and I thought my child was the only child in the world to do this.  My day would be ruined, and I would cry as I spent an eternity getting the poop out of the room and the smell out of my house.  Fast forward a few years to when I discovered another child of mine who touched their bottom when they were pooping.  I would walk in and see poop next to their mouth.  I was, again, utterly grossed out, horrified, etc.  Once again, I thought that my child was the only child in the world to engage in this repulsive behavior.  (On a side note, my sister made a good point not to say, "Don't touch your poop/butt" to an echolalic child because if they start repeating that one, they are definitely going to get made fun of.  Instead, just use the prompt, "Hands up!")
This morning, I have been scouring the internet trying to find resources out there addressing this topic.  In my search, I learned that these behaviors are common in lower-functioning autism.  I also read on the Journal of Neuropsychiatry website (http://neuro.psychiatryonline.org/article.aspx?articleid=104346) that Temple Grandin engaged in fecal smearing when she was a child, and Mozart ingested his own poop.  So some pretty awesome people did the same thing that my kids have done...somehow that makes me feel just a little better.  Is that because misery loves company?  ;)
I am grateful for the social story I found called, Don't Smear the Poop.  This social story is for sale for $12.50 which is a good price compared to a lot of other autism resources out there.

However, I needed a temporary solution for now, as this is a problem that I don't have time to wait on shipping to address.  I also drew my own little images, opened a word document and inserted images from google images search and from their clip art to make my own social story/visual strips for the bathrooms in our house.  If anyone wants to use these for their own personal use,  I am totally fine with that.  All you would do is left click on the image, save it, then print it.

First, I have a nice big printable to remind the child, "Hands Up!"

Next is the printable of what they really should be doing if they are in the bathroom.

Last is the strip showing what they shouldn't be doing.  

***(1/16/2017) -One of the readers of this blog gave me an awesome resource that I now would recommend even more.   In fact, it's almost exactly four years later, and I'm printing off the social story she referred me to, to use for the same child.  Yes, in my experience, some bad habits are hard to break or return when the child is experiencing change or other stressors.  Darn it.  Anyway, the link to the "Don't Play With Your Pooh" social story can be found here:  
http://able2learn.com/products/dont-play-with-poop-social-story-basic-living-skills-8-pages.html

Also, I made a youtube video reading the social story because I know my kids will destroy the book.  It can be found here (with a few additions to fit our situation).

Advice?

Today as an autism mom, I'm grateful for any autism parent who can leave me a comment with some advice.  I was wondering if I could get any suggestions as to handling a daughter who is self injurious.  My daughter hits her face and head a lot.  She has always slapped herself in the face when she was frustrated, but it was more of a one-time thing and then she would move on.  Now, it is very hard to redirect her.  She is basically beating herself up.   I'm sure a lot of this is due to her communication defects and frustrations.  She will punch herself too.  As a result, right now she has a split lip and bruises all over her face.  It is very distressing for me.  Redirecting her and making her give us high-fives instead works sometimes, but I'm at a loss.  She has a psych appointment next week to explore medication intervention, and a regular doctor's office this week to see if there are any physical reasons for her distress.  I would appreciate any feedback I can get.  Thank you!

Challenge Accepted

As an autism mom, I'm grateful for little motivators to help me have a better attitude.  I have been rather negative lately, and I have let things get to me that I didn't need to.  So, I used some of my old magazine scraps and made myself a motivating sign:

January 9, 2013

To Our Wonderful Benefactors at FOCUS of San Diego:

We just wanted to take this opportunity and give you such thanks for the swing set you provided for our family.  If you didn’t already know, all three of our children have moderate-to-severe autism.  Garrett is 9 years old, Caiti is 7 and Jason is 4.  We previously had a swing set that was handed down to us from neighbors, and it was amazing to see how calming it was for them to be able to swing.  When that swing set gave out, we were so disappointed not to have that sensory input for our children.  They seemed lost and didn’t know what to do to calm their bodies in a healthy way.

My daughter Caiti has been tantrumming and injuring herself this entire Christmas break because she has a hard time with change and not knowing what is coming next.  It has affected our entire family to see her that unhappy.  She was going crazy being cooped in our house and was seeking the sensory input in unhealthy ways, like when she was hitting herself.  It was very distressing for us, as her parents to see her do this and not know how to stop her.

  This all changed because of the blessing you sent our way.  You should have seen her face when she saw the swing set.  It instantly brightened into a giant smile.  She is someone who doesn’t like the feeling of clothes on her skin, and it is very hard to keep her clothed when she is at home.  We have shown her that the only way she can use the swing set is to have her clothes on.  It is amazing how much less we are seeing of her birthday suit now.  She is so happy and is much calmer now that she is getting that sensory  input in a happier, healthier manner.

Our son Garrett swings super high on the swings.  He gets this huge grin when he’s up so high.   He and Jason, our youngest, love to swing at the same time.  It is interesting to see this interaction because my kids don’t normally play together.  They don’t understand social interactions/play, and it is easier to be by themselves.  It is cute to see them together on the swings, both so happy.

I loved the first day we had the swings out, and Jason would not get off of them.  He kept a tight grip.  It was neat to see him figure out the leg motions to continue swinging.  He didn’t have that skill down before.  I was a proud mama.

As a mommy of these cute kids, it has been an amazing help and stress reliever to have this swing set that we normally wouldn’t have been able to afford.  It brings me great joy to know that my kids are getting the sensory input they crave in a healthy way.  They are all in such great moods now too.  That is definitely needed after the first couple weeks of our Christmas break.

Thank you so much for your generosity.  It is very appreciated, and we will get SOOOOO much use out of that swingset.  I hope you know that it is such a blessing for our family, and we are beyond grateful that you were willing to help us in this very wonderful way.

Love the Roach Family

**** Addendum: We couldn't have enjoyed our swingset without the awesome missionaries who took LOTS of time out of their week to help get the swingset set up.  We are very grateful for their help too!

Garrett

As an autism mommy, I'm grateful for my firstborn, and the person who first immersed me into this crazy world of autism, my son Garrett.  Today is his birthday, and he is 9 years old.  What can I say to describe this cutie pie that brings such joy to my life.  Garrett gives everyone unconditional love.  He can be sneaky when he wants to get out of the house or when he wants a yummy treat, but he doesn't have a mean bone in his body.  He has the best smile ever.  He likes tickles and is really good at saying, "Tickle me!"  He loves to have his own kind of conversations where you fill in the blanks with whatever he thinks should come next.  One of them is to name his favorite movies in a certain order.  He also heard me singing "She's My Kind of Rain," by Tim McGraw one day, and he started laughing and said, "She's my kind of blue."  So I figured out he thought I said, "She's my kind of green."  Ever since then, that is a game where we say, "She's my kind of ____" and fill in the blank with a color.  When Garrett was a baby, and he would be sitting in his high chair waiting for mommy to feed him baby food, I would say the name of the baby food in a silly voice.  His favorite was "Vegetable Beef."  Ever since then, his grandpa says that to him whenever he talks to him, and Garrett laughs and laughs.  

Garrett loves to go swimming.  He says, "I want swimming please."  He is so cute in the water.  He thinks he's much smaller than his 100-lb frame and wants us all to throw him in the water or help him do flips.  

Garrett's sense of rhythm is amazing.  He has a talent of tapping one beat with one hand, and then tapping a totally different, but complimentary beat with the other hand at the same time.  I have tried to copy it before, and there's no way i could do that.

Garrett loves to watch his shows.  He's obsessed with Diego right now, and he can even communicate which one by telling me which animal.  His favorite right now is the Underwater Mystery episode.  He comes and tells me, "Watch Mystery Fish?"  Grandma and Grandpa were even lucky enough to hear him sing it to them today when they called to wish him happy birthday.  

I thought I would share this poem I wrote about my Garrett when I was just finding out he had autism, about 6 years ago:

To Garrett:

When you were born, you had no clothes,

But you had pretty eyes and a cute little nose.

Your feet were quite big, and you looked like your dad. 

You were the best present that I ever had.

A gift from Heaven, sent from God,

I looked at you and held you and was completely awed.

You were so sweet, smiley and fun.  

I loved watching you as around the couch you would run

Over and over; you never got tired.

That energy was something everyone admired.

You started having trouble doing every-day things.

You had to be helped when swinging on the swings.

It took you longer than others to climb up the slide,

But you did it one step at a time, and I cried.

They say you're not normal; you've got a different brain.

That was hard to take, knowing you're not the same

As I thought you were, but you're still my little star.

You say your ABC's and you count really far.

They say kids like you don't show love the same way, 

But you let me hold you and kiss you each day.

And even if you think you use your hand for a kiss,

That is one kind of kiss that I would never miss.

You are amazing, so happy and sweet.

You still have the cute nose and the big feet.

And even if some kids' abilities surpass, 

You still are taller than everyone in your class.

And you are an example of what truly is love.

You are the unexpected blessing I received from above.

I watch your example of overcoming trials and strife, 

And I thank God for blessing me with you in my life.

A gift from Heaven, sent from God.

I look at you and hold you and am completely awed.